The Deadpool Diaries

As promised . . . with more to come!

2009-11-18T21:20:00.000-08:00

Deadpool sez:

Hey Folks! I've been reminded that I have fans out there interested in what I've been up to. Unfortunately, I'm a little short on time tonight, so I've just got time to show you one little adventure of mine . . .

Yep, that's me! I've been exploring my artistic side. Ain't I talented! I'm thinking about donating this one to the New York Museum of Art.

More tomorrow, when I've prepared a little introduction for you guys of my nemesises . . . nemesi . . . enemies.

'Pool out.

And . . . it's been another year!

2009-05-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus, folks. However, 'Pool assures me that, between his new-found movie fame ("Reynolds? who the hockeysticks is Reynolds?") and the fact that he's currently got TWO comics on the shelf at our LCS, it's definitely time for some new adventures.

Plus, he's depressed about you-know-who and needs to get out some.

Stay tuned!

2008-05-14T15:09:00.000-07:00

Sally says, Now that our friends have found the Deadpool Diaries - and I fixed it so that they could comment (oops), 'Pool has declared that we should have a contest!

'Pool sez,

That's right, folks. Step right up and try yer sweaty hands at the First However-Often-We-Decide-To-Have-It Deadpool Photo Caption contest!

Here's your pic:

Where in the world is Deadpool kicking butt now?

2008-05-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

Sally says,

Well I got Deadpool to post his CAPE pics, so now he wants me to post something where "my ass isn't the one getting the royal treatment". I think he means the battle pics he brought back from his "hiatus" to wherever he was.

You see, apparently, the quest for spiritual enlightenment wasn't enough for dear Wade. He needed a "real quest". When I asked him what a "real quest" was, he said "Well, I had to go look for something, something big!"

Alway curious (and more than a bit concerned), I asked him what "big" thing he decided to look for.

His answer - I decided to look for something big AND shiny!

Big. And Shiny. O-k.

Anyway, apparently while 'Pool was off looking for big shiny things - and yes, there's pics of that, too - he met up with a new nemesis, Knockoff, the ninja.

I'll let 'Pool tell the rest.

Deadpool sez . . .

So, I'm out looking for big shiny things, right? And just as I find the first Big, Shiny thing, along comes this stupid ninja. I say stupid, of course, because if he'd been a smart ninja, I couldn't have said "along comes" because I wouldn't have heard him!

Anyway, said Stupid Ninja (henceforth designated as the SN) says his name is Knockoff and that's exactly what he's about to do to me!

Well, clearly, I can't have anyone else stealing the good smartass lines, so I tell SN that, even though I got no beef with him, he can just bring it on!

And he tried . . . Oh, how he tried. All over the world, he tried.

He tried on the rooftops of Hong Kong:

By all the grace of Bea Arthur! I love a good upper cut!

He tried in the scented forests of Tuscany:

Hmm, think I'll have chicken tonight!

He tried in the tall grasses of the Iowan plains:

Don't you just love that word, Iowan?

Clearly, Knockoff was no match for the one and only DEADPOOL!

He got away, though, swearing he'd be back.

Good news is, I did find some pretty nifty big, shiny things. There was the pearly thing, and the multicolored thing, and the big blue thing with the bubbles.

And that was my quest. Not very fulfilling. Although, kicking ninja butt all over the world was pretty fun.

So, I packed the ol' Samsonite and came back to Sal's. At least she's a pretty good cook.

Deadpool goes to CAPE

2008-05-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

Deadpool sez,

So, I convinced Sal to take me to CAPE - was kinda hoping I might see some action there.

It was all kinda boring until I spotted . . .

My favorite redheaded writer!

And so, I was all like OMG! And she was all like, Hi 'Pool! How's it going?

And I was all like, long time no see! And she was all like, yeah.

And I was all like, so you're famous now? And she was all like, kinda, I get to write Wonder Woman.

And I was all like, that's cool - CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

And she was all like, Sure! Where you want it?

So, I told her . . .

That's right, left butt cheek, baby!

I thought that was pretty awesome, so I was wandering around a bit, looking for some nibbles and hoping to see a hot chick or two that wasn't 5 times my height, when I noticed another familiar face.

So, all cool and stuff, I walked up to his table and I was like, DUDE! You knew me when . . .

And he was like, hey 'Pool, OMG!

And then I got all grinchy and had a wonderful idea.

So, I grabbed Sal and her trusty sharpy and I sez . . . Hey Mark!

And my right butt cheek got the royal writer's treatment, too!

So, now I got these totally awesome autographed spanky pants!

I swear, I am never washing my ass again!

'Pool attempts to find Spiritual Enlightenment . . .

2008-04-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

Once 'Pool got over the sprained ankle and broken wrist from his skateboard adventure - it took about 12 minutes - he decided that maybe "EXTREEEEME" wasn't quite the way to go. Maybe, just maybe, he needed to find peace. Yeah, right, 'Pool and peace. They go together about as well as anchovies and whipped cream . . .

But he did bring back pictures of his "Spiritual Retreat".

Here we see 'Pool standing in front of the sweatlodge.

An excerpt from his (generally spotty and not usually printable) diary from this time reads:

"I went to the woods to live deep, to suck the marrow of life. The only problem was that the mosquitoes were so big, they were sucking the marrow out of ME! Filthy buggers.

Oh, and sweat + spandex DOES NOT lend well to spiritual enlightenment. I wanna go home!"

Fortunately for us, 'Pool's journey home was not so boring, as he was attacked on his way through Ireland by the only snake left in that country:

The snake clearly did not
get the best end of that deal.

(Oh, and don't ask me how he ended up in Ireland on the way home from an Indian reservation.)

Where in the world is Carmen San , , , I mean, Deadpool?

2008-04-21T16:58:00.001-07:00

That's the question we've all been asking around here for nearly a year. You see, 'Pool apparently got fed up with our domestic tranquility. He was, so to speak, "BORED AS ALL WIENIES!"(his words). I personally suggested he take up a hobby.

So, being the daring merc that he is, 'Pool decided that no hobby was good enough for him unless it was "EXTREEEEEEME"! This need for "EXTREEEEEEEEME" led to the purchase of a skateboard. Yep, you read right. Deadpool decided he needed to learn how to skateboard.

Now, to explain why we just now have the pictures of this little soiree into extreme sports: Well, it's real simple. Wade stole the camera when he left. Which is actually a good thing, as it means we have pictures of many of his adventures while he was gone.

And now, without further ado, Deadpool learns to skateboard!

'Pool with his new skateboard. Isn't he precious!?!

Everything goes swimmingly as long as 'Pool keeps one foot on the ground . . .

Uh Oh! It's okay, Wade, just try again!

And Right HERE is where Deadpool decided maybe skateboarding just isn't his thing . . .
Although he did suggest using this pic as July in the next DeadSEXYPool Calendar!

Well that's enough for tonight from Casa Sal. More later on as Pool gets around to explaining what some of these pictures are of . . .

DeadPool returns!

2007-06-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

So, Pool has been on vacation. He wouldn't tell us where, just brought back these pictures.

Evidently, he got lost in the jungle.

Nice trunks, Pool!

2007-06-10T20:24:00.001-07:00

Deadpool Sez:
I love me some Bea Arthur! That silver hair, the guttural voice . . .
And this DVD is the INTIMATE portrait! Gonna have to watch this one alone with a nice glass of wine and . . .

Sally says: We are NEVER taking 'Pool to the mall again! Oh, and if you're visiting us here, leave us a comment!

2007-06-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

'Pool took some time out today to make this great motivational poster for all his devoted fans.

2007-06-06T17:01:00.001-07:00

Deadpool Sez:
SHHH! I think I've just unlocked the secrets of the universe!
Either that or the secrets of jam!

Pool helps out in the kitchen!

2007-06-05T15:06:00.001-07:00

DeadPool Sez:
Beef: It's what's for Dinner!
Now, where the hell's the sugar for this Poolaid?

Sally Says:
I'm not drinking anything He calls Poolaid!

Kitty LOVES Deadpool!

2007-06-04T09:06:00.001-07:00

DEADPOOL SEZ:

Yep. That's right folks! She GAVE me to the CAT! A cat which turned out to be totally useless in helping get me out of here! I tried riding it and the furry throw pillow just rolled over and went back to sleep.

Sally Says:

Kitty loves Deadpool! But - does Deadpool love the kitty?

2007-06-03T22:07:00.001-07:00

This is Deadpool. For those of you who don't know him, Deadpool is also known as Wade Wilson, or The Merc With A Mouth. Deadpool is one of the funniest, if not THE funniest characters ever to stain the Marvel universe with his wisecrackin' presence.

Well, actually, this isn't really Deadpool. It's a 10 inch action figure I ordered off E-bay after I read the Deadpool comics and fell in love with the character.

Those of you familiar with action figure collecting may notice that Deadpool is not currently occupying his box. This, apparently, makes me a very, very bad comic figure collector. But he's MY Deadpool, I paid for him, and I wanted to play with him. And play with him I shall. In the coming days and weeks, we are going to follow Deadpool on some of his adventures. Now, don't think that, just because he's only 10 inches tall and made of plastic, Deadpool can't have some pretty fabulous adventures! You'll see.

Currently, Deadpool is without his doorknobs, er, guns. That's because he and I are having an argument. I took away his guns shortly after he arrived because he refused to acknowledge that the pen is mightier than the sword. In fact, I took away his guns and gave him a pencil. Which, as you may notice, he no longer has. It was a good pencil, too, just the right length for him and a very pretty silver. Yet, somehow, 'Pool was not amused. He glared at that pencil for weeks, continually refusing to come over to my side of the argument.

Anyway, keep an eye out here for 'Pool's adventures. I may even let him do some of the writing!